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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26769790">Moth Into a Flame</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sogoldn/pseuds/sogoldn'>sogoldn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Direction (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bottom Harry, Choking, Deep Throating, Dom/sub Undertones, Grunge, Hair-pulling, If You Squint - Freeform, Light breathplay, M/M, Oops forgot - Freeform, Oral Sex, Praise Kink, Recreational Drug Use, Rockstar Harry, Rough Sex, Smut, Sub Harry Undertones, Top Louis Tomlinson, Writer Louis, and self indulgent, dom louis undertones, harry likes his hair being pulled and being called baby, in my head this takes place in the 90's, light pain kink, my first smut so im nervous haha, this is Very Dramatic, twin flames, zayn in eyeliner</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:41:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,625</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26769790</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sogoldn/pseuds/sogoldn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry knelt down as the music went quiet except for the bass as he sang out the last few lines, his gaze hooded and still intently focused on Louis. From how close he was standing to the stage, pressed in by bodies swaying or thrashing, Louis could see the strain of his thighs against the denim of his jeans, the sweat on his pale, inked skin, Louis imagined he could feel the heat coming off his body. </p><p>His eyes, his eyes were green.</p><p>Then he was standing back up and introducing the next track, the trance temporarily broken. Louis was left in a daze, his stomach swimming with heat as he was snapped back into himself for a moment.</p><p>Or, Harry is a grunge rocker and Louis is dying to sink his teeth into him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>226</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Moth Into a Flame</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zayn ran his hand through his longish black hair and let it fall right back into his eyes as he spoke, “There’s a new band up first tonight. White Eskimo.”</p><p>Louis stole the joint from between Zayn’s lips with two fingers. “Stupid name.”</p><p>Zayn smirked, his dark silhouette looked extra mysterious under the dull glow of the street lights as they walked. “Yeah, maybe. But the lead singer has something. Great voice, great look.” </p><p>Louis blew smoke in his face, earning him a shove to the shoulder. “So you’ve got a crush on him? What’s his name?” Louis chuckled as he sped up and turned to walk backwards, avoiding being shoved again. </p><p>“I don’t have a crush on him. I mean it, I think he’s really got something going for him. I’m excited to see what new shit he’s got for tonight, he said he’s been writing.” </p><p>They were nearing their destination, and as they did, more people filed onto the street. They were in night clothes, tight skirts, ripped jeans and leather jackets like the one Zayn was pairing with heavy black eyeliner. They were headed to a hole in the wall, tiny and dirty and so familiar to Louis it felt like a part of him. This was a place so entangled in his most delicious memories that he couldn’t imagine a version of himself that didn’t know it. Bands played there every weekend, often the same few. He knew most of the tracks by heart, and the people by name.</p><p>He would listen and watch, and think about how maybe one day soon, he’d be up on stage too, or at least some of his songs would be. </p><p>He had been neglecting his sanctuary, the dingy club and crowd that put his heart at ease. He’d been too swamped with work and evening classes at the community college to do much more than drop like a heavy stone into his mattress in his time off. </p><p>Still, every weekend he would hold a black college-ruled notebook, tattered at the edges and worn navy blue at its cover’s center, and he would tell himself that this time he would shove it into his bag or jacket pocket and take it with him to the club. This time he would show one of the band frontmen his deepest loves and coldest anguishes spilled in chicken-scratch scroll over blue and white pages. His three a.m dreams and nightmares scribbled feverishly down in hopes that if he could give them a shape he could look back at, he could make some sense of them, maybe even make them make sense to someone else. But who was he kidding? He barely let Zayn in on his ratty collection of songs and lyrics. </p><p>Louis was shaken from his melancholy thoughts as they arrived at the stairway leading down to the entrance of the club. The stairway walls and narrow hallway leading into the club were covered in fliers for bands and posters of artists and art and naked women. Graffiti spelled out lyrics and profanities and illustrations that ranged from downright vulgar to a fresh stencil of Angelica from Rugrats. They wedged their way in through the tight crowd that tended to gather there. Already they could hear roudy pre-recorded music blaring over the speakers.</p><p>Once they were inside, it was dimly lit, a hazy green and yellow. Everything was all buzzing bodies and teeth flashing behind beer bottles and exposed throats as people threw their heads back to take shots. They went straight to the right side of the club, weaving lazily around laughing people and the smoke that hung in the air, musky and potent. They moved their way to the front, but away from where they knew the more violent moshing would take place, greeting people as they went and turning down an offer of ecstacy. Louis was already a little lightheaded, but there was a pleasant buzz in his body that made him sling an arm over Zayn’s shoulders. He responded by grabbing hold of the sleeve of Louis’ jean jacket.</p><p>The music cut suddenly and Louis joined everybody in yelling at the stage, now backlit by yellow lights.</p><p>Somebody plugged in a bass guitar and Louis was thrumming with excitement. </p><p>A man walked on stage, emerging slowly and naturally from the shadows. </p><p>He was tall and lean with long dark curls framing a pale, heart-shaped face, his wide mouth cocked into a smirk, big eyes gleaming like a cat’s. Louis lost his breath as the crowd around him got louder. Time seemed to slow down and Louis was transfixed, staring at the man’s pink lips as he parted them to speak. He introduced his band, <em> White Eskimo </em> and then himself, <em> Harry. </em></p><p>
  <em> Harry. </em>
</p><p>His voice was low and rich as he spoke and fiddled with the strap of his electric guitar with nimble fingers, adorned with an assortment of mismatched, chunky rings. He didn’t waste much time, he went right into his first song and as the sound swelled and filled up the room like smoke, like thunder in the summertime, Louis felt something stir someplace deep under his sternum. </p><p>The song was angry but not without purpose. Harry sang it from his gut and his voice was so powerful it sent shivers prickling from Louis’ scalp down his spine. </p><p>He sounded like crushed velvet, like wide open nights in the city spent all alone. Like a memory of love that’s slipping after too much time spent apart. The backdrop of gritty grunge guitar and a thrumming bassline perfectly complimented his soaring voice, punk inspired and soulful. He moved around on stage, curls falling over his shoulders and into his face, he looked out at everyone from under his brow, gaze stormy and piercing like some avenging angel in a baroque painting, both dark and glowing.</p><p>He kept letting out melodic moans between lines, closing his eyes and playing his guitar like it was an extension of himself, his own voice, something he just felt and didn’t have to think about. It looked easy, his long fingers moving fluidly, his gaudy rings catching the light and offsetting the plainness of his black jeans and t-shirt. </p><p>He was beautiful, all leanly muscled and tattooed. Maybe it was his high or the hour of night, but Louis felt drawn to him like a moth into a flame. He was mesmerized, almost out of body. He felt like the music was filling him, the way vodka burns first in your mouth then your belly, until your whole body’s lit up, both heavy and weightless. </p><p>Louis pushed his way through moshing bodies, some high and ready to feel something, some seemingly out for blood. He was hit many times, ignoring the tug on the collar of his jacket when Zayn realized he was getting roughed up and tried to pull him back to relative safety. He smiled back at his friend, probably all teeth and shimmering eyes in the murky light as he detached from the tether of his hold and kept pushing closer to the very front. It was a sea of people, there were not many of them, but the floor was small and he was being thrashed against and his feet were stepped on. He knew he would have bruises, felt them already forming over his ribs, his bicep, his calves. An elbow made a swift impact with the side of his head, a hot bloom of pain erupted in his temple. </p><p>He pushed past the pounding in his skull and did his best to squeeze himself around the most violent individuals. Soon he was pressed right up to the side of the stage, head and heart pounding, trying to get his bearings and stay out of the way of the mosh pit, plastering himself close to the stage and keeping his footing as people shoved against his back and further bruised the backs of his calves.</p><p>It was on the fourth song that he and Harry locked eyes. It felt like something shifted, Louis’ heart leapt and his mouth parted slightly as if he thought he might speak and have Harry hear him. He was singing to him now, a song about a love that takes. It was almost too much to keep holding his gaze, like staring into the beam of a lighthouse. He felt like he was floating, like the only thing that could ever matter was this moment. </p><p>Harry knelt down as the music went quiet except for the bass as he sang out the last few lines, his gaze hooded and still intently focused on Louis. From how close he was standing to the stage, pressed in by bodies swaying or thrashing, Louis could see the strain of his thighs against the denim of his jeans, the sweat on his pale, inked skin, Louis imagined he could feel the heat coming off his body. </p><p>His eyes, his eyes were green.</p><p>Then he was standing back up and introducing the next track, the trance temporarily broken. Louis was left in a daze, his stomach swimming with heat as he was snapped back into himself for a moment.</p><p>Even when Louis managed to tear his eyes from Harry for a second to turn to survey his surroundings or inch out of someone’s way, he found his gaze coming back to Harry. It was magnetic, and everytime he looked, Harry was looking too. It was like something beyond Louis’ understanding was pulling them together. </p><p>A silly thing to think, to want, but it’s the way he was feeling. As soon as their set was over and Harry was pushing back his curls, plastered to the skin of his face with sweat, Louis was looking over heads to plan his escape. He was vibrating under his skin from the high of the music and of Harry. </p><p>Louis bit his lip, and tried to think fast. Harry was backstage now, but where would he go when he came back out? Was he someone who liked to stay and party or would he slip out the back into the night? The thought of letting him get away, of going home alone and wondering if Harry was giving it to someone else was unbearable in that moment. </p><p>He needed to see him up close, he needed to get him into Louis’ shitty apartment and turn on the lights so he could see him properly, let Harry’s big hands soothe the fever of his skin. He needed to know for sure that the green around his blown pupils hadn’t been a trick of the light. He thought of his ivory hands, long fingers wrapped around that microphone, the sweat tracks that made his shirt stick taunt over his muscled back. At one point his shirt had ridden up, revealing the slight plushness of his hips and a flash of tattooed laurels that framed them. Louis thought about dragging his teeth over their curve.</p><p>Louis scrambled around the crowd, dodging people fighting or tripping or laughing. It wasn’t long before Zayn was discernible from the swarm of faces, and they both made a beeline for each other. Zayn grabbed him by the arms, his brows drawn down in concern or confusion. “Lou, what the hell was that? You never wanna mosh, what got into you?” He asked, looking Louis over, once he realized he wasn’t in too rough condition he let himself laugh and shake his head. It really was very out of character for Louis to purposely get in the way of the more gritty members of their social circle, he was more dedicated to the art than the violence. </p><p>“I don’t know!” Louis laughed, feeling a little out of his mind. But he had a purpose, and urgency was still buzzing in his chest. “But Zayn, you said you met Harry before, right?” He asked hastily as Zayn fixed Louis’ soft fringe that had become sticky over the last hour. </p><p>“Yeah, yeah, I talked to him. Told you he was fucking awesome.”</p><p>Louis’ heart felt like it was palpitating. “I need you to introduce me, like now. Does he leave after shows or does he hang around? Is he from around here? Does he tour?” Louis asked, words tumbling out even faster than he normally babbled. </p><p>Zayn laughed again. “And you were making fun of me for having a crush! I don’t even know if he’s into guys.” </p><p>Louis shook his head. “I know he is, I can tell. Do you know where he hangs out, like is he coming back out?” He was getting a little frantic. </p><p>“Yeah, he might come back in. The last two nights I saw him he went outside to the lot with Niall to have a smoke and help his band put away their shit.” Zayn responded, still obviously amused by Louis’ desperation. “You’re not the only groupie, though, so you better run to catch him. I wanna stay here and see if I can track down Liam, I saw him by the bar.” </p><p>Louis nodded and hugged his friend quickly around the neck before practically sprinting to the stairs and out the exit so he could swing around to the lot behind the building and down the street the bands and staff used for their cars and equipment. It was late and dingy, and the street was lit up with neon window signs and reflections from gutters and oil stains. People were milling about, a girl was holding a pair of platform boots and leaning with her toes sticking out of her fishnets against the building, blowing smoke into some dude’s mouth. Louis smiled, feeling giddy and excited, despite not knowing for sure if when he rounded the corner up ahead, Harry would be there waiting for him. He soaked the night in despite the quickness of his gate and thought to himself that there was no place he would rather be. He felt like an adventure tonight. When he reached the lot he heard Niall laughing and jogged up to him, he was helping a thin man with long dark hair pack a drum set into an old black van. “Tommo!” Niall yelled, laughter still coloring his tone. “What you running for, ya alright?” He asked, clapping Louis on the back in his usual way. Niall was one of the club managers, a jovial Irishman with a bleach-blonde, clean look compared to most of his patrons. He was young for his position and had a good ‘ol boy swagger about him that made everybody love him, from midwestern dads to anarchist punk rockers. Plus he could shred up a guitar better than anyone Louis knew. </p><p>“I’m alright, Niall.” He assured, catching his breath and returning his side hug. “I just wanted to catch the band before they head out, didn’t know if you guys were sticking around or not.” He directed his statement to the tall man, the bass player. He stretched out his hand to him. “I’m Louis. Wicked set.” He said, as the man took the offered hand, face stoic but not unkind.</p><p>“I’m Mitch. Thanks man, It’s all Harry’s stuff, I’m just along for the ride.” His face broke into a little side smile. He was fond of his bandmate. Louis felt his heart skip a beat and he decided not to dwell on the ludicrousy of that. He was along for the ride too.</p><p>“Did I hear my name? What are you telling them about me, Mitch.” His voice was low, almost a drawl with the lazy way his words fell together. Harry emerged from the van, a young woman wearing men’s clothes and a ponytail following close behind. She was the drummer, who had admittedly been fantastic if Louis had time to think about it. </p><p>Harry’s eyes locked on Louis’ immediately and a wicked smile bloomed across his face. Wicked in the way it was so pleased, his dimples boyish but his eyes wolfish, eyebrow arched, he peaked the tip of his tongue out from between his teeth. Louis felt the back of his neck flush and he was grinning too. </p><p>“I didn’t say shit. This is Louis, Niall knows him.” Mitch responded, glancing knowingly between his bandmate and Louis before returning to his business of packing up. </p><p>“Louis.” Harry purred, saying his name like he was savoring it on his tongue. Niall laughed, catching on to Harry’s obvious interest as a shiver ran through Louis. </p><p>“You two know each other?” Niall asked, leaning back and looking at Louis with raised eyebrows. </p><p>Before Louis could respond, Harry interjected, gaze still pinned on Louis, “Not yet.” </p><p>Oh fuck. He was fucked. </p><p>Harry’s drummer huffed in mock exasperation and rolled her eyes before tugging on Mitch’s arm who had just packed up the last of their stuff. “Let’s go in and mingle, love. Our young Styles is preoccupied.” Her tone was playful and she poked Harry’s dimpled cheek as she breezed by, Mitch in tow who seemed to be happy enough to follow her down the street. </p><p>“I like her.” Louis told Harry, attempting to divert his laser focus a little because he was still staring intently and maybe a little creepily at Louis and it was both exhilarating and making him feel squirmy. </p><p>“That’s Sarah.” Niall responded, as Harry was parting his lips to speak. “I think I’ll catch up to them, yeah? Leave you two to it.” With that he squeezed Louis’ shoulder with a knowing grin and trotted off after the pair. </p><p>“Yeah, see you Ni.” Louis called after him, feeling a little breathless. </p><p>Louis wasn’t sure what he had expected, but it wasn’t to have Harry all to himself so soon. He was sitting at the edge of the back of the van, double doors still open, exposing the instrument stuffed innards, drums and guitar cases resting on an old mattress. </p><p>Louis didn’t know where to begin, he was nervous which was a bit new for him in this sort of situation, usually he could charm and flirt his way out of (or into) anything. So he was thankful when Harry started for him. “So, Louis.” He began, in his morbid tone. “You come here with anyone? Anyone I might know?” </p><p>Louis quirked his lips into a half smile. “Yeah, I came here with Zayn. You should know him.” </p><p>Harry hummed and nodded. “I know him, the very attractive artist who has a thing for comic book tattoos.” </p><p>“The very one.” Louis agrees. Harry pats his hand down on the edge of the trunk floor of the van, beckoning him to sit. Louis obeyed, eagerly scooting up into the van so he could lift up his feet so he was sitting cross legged. Harry looked pleased. Louis could smell him, salty skin, <em> man </em>smell. But something perfumy too, almost girlish. The soft scent of warm vanilla. Sugary, a middle schooler’s first perfume, a cupcake scented candle. Louis thought of breathing it in at the nape of his lovely neck, which looked creamy and delicious, exposed from the loose collar of his worn t-shirt and glowing pale and inviting as moonlight under far away artificial street lamps that lined the lot. </p><p>“You were looking. During the show.” He states simply, wolfish grin back. He was even more of a lighthouse beam up close. His eyes were definitely green. Light, cool spring green pools Louis would like to take a dip in. </p><p>Louis huffed, leaned back, aghast. “You were performing! Of course I was looking at you. <em> You </em> were looking at <em> me </em>, which I can’t blame you for.” He was pleased that his voice sounded light and mischievous to his own ears. He tucked his hands under his thighs to avoid them doing anything foolish, like shake with nerves or reach out to tuck a string of Harry’s curls behind his ear. Louis had never felt like this, he didn’t believe in love at first sight, but he believed in connection, dizzying and hypnotic. </p><p>“Can you blame me?” Harry asked, leaning in.</p><p>“Not at all.” Louis smiled. “I’m delicious.”</p><p>Harry responded well to his cheekiness, tilting his head and narrowing his big bright eyes. “Delicious? Would you let me see for myself?” </p><p>Oh. That was very forward. Louis was a little stunned. He felt himself nod and then Harry was slowly leaning in, face cast in shadow so close to Louis’, his warmth was now near enough to be felt. His breath stung with the scent of some fruity liquor and it was making Louis flush like this was his first kiss, like his knees would give out if he were standing. Excitement shot up from his groin to his scalp and he parted his lips on instinct, leaning in to meet Harry’s mouth. </p><p>Harry’s lips were perfectly plush, he tasted faintly of candy-sweet alcohol and something heady that couldn’t be described. Louis felt like warmth was flooding his mouth and running through his whole body, he was a live wire as Harry brought a hand up to cup his face, too tender for the way he was working Louis over. They broke apart to take a breath and Louis opened his eyes to find Harry’s already glossy and staring back at him. He could see his face was slightly flushed, his lips cherry red and cocked in a smirk that ended up looking almost silly. His expression of bliss was nearly cartoonish, like his eyes would turn to love hearts, a cupid’s arrow appearing in his side. Louis found himself smiling, his chest feeling light as Harry grinned back.</p><p>“Do you want to get out of here? Get a drink?” Harry asked. </p><p>Louis nodded dumbly for a moment, blinking his eyes as if it would clear his head from the heady haze that had swallowed it. “Yes, let's leave. Where do you want to go?” he asked, breathy despite himself. </p><p>Harry chuckled, perhaps more of a giggle, and shook his long hair out with one hand and pushed it from his face. “Oh, I don’t even know! I just moved here.” He said, running his hands over Louis’ knees like they belonged there. </p><p>Louis laughed lightly. “Well, I’ve lived here for five years and honestly everywhere around here is pretty shit.”</p><p>Harry hummed and tilted his perfect head. “Well we could go back into the club... Or maybe you should just take me home?” he was being so cheeky and so forward, there was no dancing around it, no smooth lines. He was heartachingly sincere. Louis knew he was probably romanticizing him because he was so gut wrenchingly beautiful and the night air, the come-down of his high and the warmth of Harry’s thigh pressed against his was making him dizzy with want. Who was he kidding anyway? He had a secret book of poetry he wrote in obsessively, he hung fairy lights over his bed and sometimes went to the movie theater alone so nobody would witness him crying on the sweet parts, the sad parts. He was a romantic, a hungry one. And here Harry was, offering himself up mouthwateringly, begging to be spun into an adventure, a perfect night. A poem. </p><p>Louis leaned forward and kissed Harry again, soft and sweet before biting at his pouty bottom lip, which Harry seemed to enjoy if his throaty hum was anything to go by. “Let me take you home then.” He said, eyes hooded, sliding out of his cross-legged position and hopping down to stand before Harry’s legs and kiss him again, resting his hands on his waist, which was slightly soft at the hips, which was lovely to touch. Louis was already learning that Harry liked to cup his face in his hands when they kissed. They broke apart and Harry rubbed his thumbs over Louis’ cheekbones as Louis spoke, “I don’t have a ride, I came here with Zayn. You wanna call a cab?”</p><p>Harry smirked, eyes shining and kissed the side of his mouth. “I have a motorcycle, actually.” He said. Oh god, he was going to be the death of him. </p><p>Louis couldn’t control the bark of laughter that escaped him. “Of fucking course you do.” </p><p>Harry seemed a little shy at Louis’ reaction, but didn’t lose any of his exuberant charm. He took both of Louis’ hands in his and plopped onto his feet, causing Louis to need to tilt his head up to look at him, he was a bit taller and a bit broader than Louis, which he hadn’t paid much attention to until that moment. </p><p>“Good thing I always travel with an extra helmet.” Harry grinned. </p><p>“Yes, how lucky. It’s not as if you predicted any of your nights ending up with you seducing someone with those dimples.”</p><p>Harry scrunched up his nose like a bunny. “I don’t think I could have predicted you.” </p><p>Louis stuck his tongue out from between his teeth. “You don’t know the half of it.”</p><p>Louis gave Harry instructions to his apartment. He knew Zayn wasn’t likely to come home tonight and he didn’t like sleeping in unfamiliar beds. Nerves cropped up as Harry strapped a helmet on Louis’ head with nimble fingers. He tried to shake them off as Harry started the engine and beckoned him to take a seat behind him but he couldn’t help the fluttering sensation that was spreading over his whole body. </p><p>Louis steeled himself and hopped up onto the bike after Harry, fitting his feet where Harry told him to and wrapping his arms around the other man’s trim waist. He was a solid curve of heat under his hands and the press of his cheek as Louis leaned into him. His smell was strong and Louis had to stop himself from biting into the jut of his shoulder. <em> Not yet. </em>He thought, giddy. He willed his nerves into excitement as Harry started the engine, which came alive like an animal with a rumbling that Louis felt in his teeth. </p><p>Harry arched out of the lot smoothly and before Louis knew it they were on the main road and sailing over the pools of taillights with ease. The white noise of the engine washed the night in a drowned-out bliss and Louis tightened his hold onto Harry, turning his face into the man’s back, their helmets bumping together. The world passed by in deep shadow and glowing neon, perceived by one of Louis’ eyes which was just half open. He tilted his chin up to look at the sky and found it starless, big and black, gaping. It made him feel small and alive. The wind whipped at his skin, cool and perfect. Louis felt tears streak his eyelashes and he smiled and blinked them away, returning his cheek to Harry’s warm back. Suddenly he was aware of himself, of his body and the world around him which had at once shrunken down to two men and a bike and expanded so wide into an ink-black sky.</p><p><em> I will never forget this. </em> He thought, so achingly present. <em> This will be a snapshot of my life I will look back on. The first time I rode on a motorcycle. The green-eyed rock star with the dimples. This is a feeling I will hold onto forever. </em> </p><p>Louis took note of his thoughts, his feelings, the sights and the smells of the one of the most perfect summer nights of his life so far. He wondered how they would spill out of him that next afternoon. When he woke up to an empty bed and a head full of cotton, wondering if it was all real. How he’d be grabbing half blind for his notebook and the switch of his lamp. He wondered what words he would find to bleed onto blank pages that would capture this feeling. He shook his head at himself. For now he would focus on the living part and save the writing for later.</p><p>Louis loosened his grip and sat back as Harry slowed into the turn of the entrance into his apartment complex. Harry turned his head and asked Louis to guide him the rest of the way as they passed by numbered doors and empty shoe-box balconies washed white in the bike headlights. Harry eased the bike into a purr as they stopped in a spot in front of the old metal door they would have to enter before getting up to Louis’ floor. Harry kicked out the bike stand and slid from where he was straddling the seat with ease. Louis watched his thigh muscles shift under black denim and his heartbeat picked up once again at the knowledge of what was to come once they pushed past Louis’ threshold. </p><p>He didn’t have much time to envision anything as Harry took him by the hand, his palm soft and easing the chill in Louis’ fingers, and practically pranced with excitement through the heavy door he pushed open with one shoulder. They stumbled, giggling half into each other's mouths as they made their way up the narrow stairway, both ignoring the stink of damp as they went. Louis felt drunk on Harry’s hot mouth as they stole kisses as Louis found his keys with half numb fingers and fumbled them into the lock. </p><p>Harry pushed aside Louis’ jacket which fell to the floor with a muted thud as Louis locked the door behind them. He made an undignified little yelp when Harry pushed aside the wide collar of his t-shirt and began mouthing at his neck and shoulder. Louis flushed with embarrassment and arousal as zings of electricity crackled in his veins and shot from his neck to stomach to groin. He was already on fire and they hadn’t even taken their clothes off yet. He felt ridiculous, nearly melting into a puddle on the floor because of Harry’s tongue on his neck, but he had never experienced such an instantaneous connection like this. </p><p>He felt dazed and desperate as he led Harry to his bedroom without breaking contact with him, tugging him along by the hips which made Harry grunt in approval. Louis flicked a lamp on as they stumbled through his doorway and cursed under his breath when he remembered that his laundry was on the floor and his comforter lay in a wrinkled heep at the food of the bed. Harry seemed to pay no mind to the disarray of his room and promptly laid himself down on his back, struggling out of his shirt which joined the rumpled clothes in one corner. He grabbed hold of Louis’ shoulders and tugged him down, needy. Louis complied easily, connecting them in a kiss and ready to straddle the other man. Harry seemed to have other plans, because after hastily kicking off his shoes he was wrapping his long legs around Louis, knees hooked on his hips. A new flush of arousal shot through Louis and he felt himself grow painfully hard as he moved to press his hips into Harry’s. He broke their kiss to watch Harry’s face and he ground into him in tight circles. </p><p>He was an absolute vision, causing heat to pool in the whole lower half of Louis’ body, from the dip at the base of his spine to the center of his arousal. His soft brown curls splayed out around him in a halo, his cheeks were blotched with pink and his full lips were ripe-red and slightly swollen from Louis’ biting. His wide eyes were hooded and glossy, his pupils blown and chest heaving lightly. Then he was smiling, toothy and honest. His giddy, breathy laughter shook Louis as his legs tightened their hold until they were fully wrapped around his waist and hooked together at the ankles. Louis couldn't help but return his goofy smile and dropped down to his elbows from where he was supporting himself on his palms and fit his fingers into Harry’s curls, close to his scalp. Harry’s mouth fell slightly open as Louis twisted his fingers into his hair and tugged gently, still grinding down and feeling the hard line of Harry underneath him. Harry’s eyelids fluttered as Louis tugged again, this time it must have stung a little. </p><p>It was the hottest thing Louis had ever seen and a new flush of determination overtook him. Harry was going lax underneath him as they both got worked up, Louis mouthing at his throat which Harry presented to him in a lovely arch, and down to his bare collarbones, inked with twin swallows. The yellow tint of Louis’ corner lamp washed the room in soft amber and Harry’s inked skin looked as warm and inviting as it felt as Louis made his way down his body, still keeping one hand fisted in Harry’s hair. Harry squirmed under Louis’ touch and groaned softly when Louis bit into the soft flesh of his hip, running his teeth over the laurel tattoos as he had wanted to do while Harry was on stage and then soothing the sting with his tongue. He was learning quickly that Harry liked a little pain. He was melting into Louis’ every touch, his big hands roaming languidly up and down his sides under Louis’ shirt as he watched him with a glazed-over look. </p><p>Louis brought both of his hands down Harry’s sides and leaned back as he soothed over the bruises he had just made with his thumb, applying pressure which made Harry’s hips buck up slightly. He was about to undo the button of those sinful black jeans when he felt Harry’s hand encircle his wrist. </p><p>“No.” He said softly, causing Louis to immediately freeze, his heart jumping once into his throat. He looked up at the other man, searching his hooded gaze for pain or hesitation. </p><p>“You first. Wanna see you.” He slurred, and Louis relaxed. He smiled and leaned back on his knees, Harry’s legs splayed out on either side of  them. He peeled off his shirt slowly, and gasped lightly when Harry immediately reached up to hold his sides and stroke his thumbs over Louis’ nipples. It made his cock twitch and he hissed when Harry didn’t let up on the pressure, sending shivers across his skin and verging on overwhelming. </p><p>“I’m really sensitive.” He breathed out, face warming at the admission. </p><p>Harry grinned up at him and let up, rubbing his hands down his sides. “I can see that.” He said, sliding his hands down to cup Louis’ ass and squeeze, which won him another groan Louis didn’t mean to make. </p><p>They both shed their remaining clothes with little grace, especially on Harry’s part who seemed to have some level of difficulty controlling his long limbs. They both giggled a lot throughout, something that Louis found to be refreshing. Harry knew exactly how to make him feel at ease and any awkwardness that usually shrouded random hookups before the main event was dissipated by the shared understanding to not take themselves too seriously.</p><p>Once they were both fully naked, Louis leaned back over Harry, slotting himself perfectly between the other man’s legs. A zing of intrigue melted over him at the hot skin-on-skin contact and he was lost in the feel of Harry’s mouth, his strong thighs quivering around his waist and the way his hands never stopped roaming. </p><p>Harry broke their kiss, breathing heavily and Louis took the opportunity to mouth at his neck again and the back of his ear. “Hmm” Harry hummed. “Can I get you in my mouth?”</p><p>Louis smiled into the side of his jae. “Me first, remember?” He asked, sliding down Harry’s body. He let out a breathy laugh that was cut off into a sharp intake of breath as Louis grabbed hold of the base of him. He was now laying on his stomach on the bed, head bracketed by Harry’s milky thighs, his hand tugging lightly on him where he was fully hard and slightly wet. Louis’ mouth watered and he was grinding lightly into his sheets as he took Harry into his mouth, just the head at first. Harry’s legs jumped but he kept his hips pinned down. Louis stroked the outside of his fuzzy leg with his unoccupied hand in appreciation. Louis methodically eased his way onto Harry’s length, knowing he had a weak gag reflex and trying to make up for it with his hand. He took as much as he could, the corners of his mouth burning slightly with the girth of it and began bobbing up and down. Harry groaned and Louis took it as encouragement, continuing his pace and closing his eyes tight so they would stop watering. He was just getting into the rhythmic zone when Harry began to move to pull him off. Louis obayed, looking up and catching his breath, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand. Harry was very pink, his lips plump with blood and face and chest blotchy. Louis smiled up at him. </p><p>“That’s enough.” Harry said breathlessly. “My turn now.” And with that he was shimmying down the bed. “Come up here.” He said, and Louis knee-walked further up until his hips were aligned with Harry’s head, almost straddling his chest. Harry wasted no time in grabbing hold of Louis’ aching length and guiding it into his mouth. Louis wasn’t packing anything spectacular, but he was by no means small, so he couldn’t help but be impressed by the way Harry swallowed him down without hesitation. His plush lips encircling the base of Louis’ cock was one of the hottest things he’d ever seen. The shock of the wet heat of his mouth had Louis’ brain short-circuiting and all he could do was stare down at the other man as he immediately started in on moving up and down and pressing his tongue onto the underside of Louis’ head on the upstroke. He continued that way for a while, never faltering in his rhythm even when his throat jumped with a gag at the intrusion and spit pooled at the corners of his stretched mouth. The intense heat and the way Harry’s eyes looked with his lashes clumped together with unshed tears had Louis pulling back sooner than he would have liked to, hissing at the effort not to release the pressure building in him. </p><p>He eased off of Harry, who made a small sound of disappointment as he reached up to start stroking Louis mindlessly, glazed eyes still focused on where his mouth had just been, so wet with his own saliva. “Harry-” Louis grabbed the other man’s wrist to still him with one hand and pushed his damp curls from his forehead and behind his ear with the other. “You’ve got to give me a breather, love.” </p><p>Harry nodded and leaned his cheek into Louis’ hand where he was still petting at his hair. “You liked that, huh? You liked taking me in your mouth? I was in your throat, I could feel it.” Louis said lowly, leaning down to taste himself on Harry’s swollen lips.</p><p>“Yeah.” Harry breathed out, his eyes fluttering shut as Louis let go of his face and kissed the side of his nose and under his jaw. “Love it.” </p><p>Louis hummed in approval and backed up so he was straddling Harry’s lap. He lined their lengths together and started stroking them both in one hand. The glide was eased by Harry’s spit and precome. Harry moaned softly, laying back on the pillows and looking up at Louis, absolutely wrecked. “How do you want to do this?” Louis asked, his voice gravelly to his own ears. </p><p>Harry shut his eyes again and when he spoke it was a little slurred. “Wanna be on my hands and knees. Want you to fuck me.” </p><p>Louis felt his heart jump and his arousal pool heavy in his stomach. He had been fully prepared to be the one bottoming tonight when he had first made the decision to approach Harry after the show. He didn’t normally take that position outside of a relationship, but the way Harry had commanded the stage, his presence so hypnotic, he had been willing to throw himself into whatever the man was willing to offer him. A feeling that he realized in that moment should have probably frightened him. But it didn’t, and here he was now with Harry laid out, bare and fevered offering himself up like a gift. </p><p>Louis grunted and moved off of him, allowing him to roll onto his stomach. He moved to get onto his knees but Louis pushed him down at the base of his spine. “Stay down while I open you up.” He commanded. Harry hummed and went lax against the bed, spreading his legs wide and tucking hands under the pillow he was laying on, pressing his cheek into. Louis moved to his bedside table where he opened a drawer, fishing out lube and a condom. He threw them onto the bed. Harry was watching him behind heavy eyelids and mused curls that now lay haphazardly in every direction. He was grinding lightly into the bed, his lovely arse making tiny circular motions as Louis settled behind him. </p><p>Harry gasped when Louis took both cheeks in his hands and began kneading them apart, exposing Harry to him. His mouth watered at the sight and he licked a long stripe from Harry’s scrotum to the base of his spine, which made Harry let out another gasp in surprise before stilling his hips. Louis thumbed at his entrance while he uncapped the lube. </p><p>Harry never stopped making noises from the moment he touched his hole, he was gasping and humming and groaning softly, almost as if he was unaware of himself, so lost in the feeling of what Louis was doing to him. He took the first finger easily and Louis could tell that he had prepared himself, that he had gone out knowing that this is where the night might take him. As he was working two fingers in and out, rubbing over Harry’s sweet spot on every other stroke he said, “You’re already halfway ready, baby. Such a good boy.” As he said it he began slipping in a third finger and Harry pushed back into it.</p><p>“Yeah.” Harry said, breathy “Yeah, for you.” He groaned loudly and more high-pitched than before as he shifted back to meet Louis’ fingers where they were opening him. </p><p>“So good for me. You’re gonna take me so well.” Louis said, feeling like his brain was going numb and words were falling from his mouth on autopilot as he watched his fingers disappear into Harry. His cock ached at the feeling of Harry’s smooth, warm walls against his fingers. </p><p>It didn’t take long for Louis to sense Harry’s restlessness, his eyes were scrunched shut and he was beginning to ease up onto his knees, moving  a hand down to touch himself as he rocked back into Louis’ hand. Louis palmed at his cheek and his thigh as he slowly eased his fingers out of the other man, a string of lube connecting him to the shiny, wet heat. He wiped his hand absentmindedly on the bed and Harry hummed in approval, hoisting himself up onto his elbows. He looked back at Louis with his sinful lips parted, his long hair flung over his shoulder, baby curls clinging to his damp face. His cheeks were dappled with heat, his eye shone as bright slits, half closed and framed by flicking dark eyelashes. Louis paused and looked at him, ran his hand down the pale, peach-soft expanse of his back. He tried to connect this image to the smokey, wolfish figure that snagged his attention with needle-sharp intensity on stage. This creature who was flushed and eager, made of velvet and peony petals. Who smiled too wide into his kisses and melted like warm honey under his hands. He was not expecting this. He was expecting teeth knocking together and something he would have to nurse in the morning, a fumble and a quick flash of heat he would forget the details of later. This was something different. The kind of thing that would make it hard to look Harry in the eye the next time they met, it would be impossible to see him and not remember this moment, how he looked and how his body had felt around him. This was the  kind of thing that Louis would mourn over late at night when he was alone and allowed himself to. He would compare his next lover to this. He would struggle to tell Zayn how it was when he asked him because the truth would burn too heavy in his throat. </p><p>Louis moved to settle behind him, his own knees knocking Harry’s farther apart. He ripped open the condom with his teeth and made short work of rolling it on and discarding the foil on the floor.  He rubbed his hands over Harry’s strong thighs and soft, fleshy cheeks. Harry rocked back, grinding himself over Louis’ length. Louis groaned and took himself in his hand, rubbing the burning head of his cock over Harry’s wet hole, letting it catch. “Yes, please.” Harry begged, rubbing his cheek over the pillow. Louis decided he wouldn’t make either of them wait any longer. He eased in slowly, the world narrowing down on the place where they were connected, on the way he disappeared inside of Harry inch by inch. The tight heat of him was overwhelming, he felt like his whole body grew flushed and his head felt light as he slid all the way in. His own sun-kissed hips looked sharp cradling Harry’s soft, pale ass. Louis settled for a moment, took breaths he didn’t realize he was holding and thumbed over the perfect dimples at the base of Harry’s spine. </p><p>Soon he was moving, slow at first, then faster when Harry started to meet him, making small noises every time he met Louis’ hips. The feeling of Harry’s body was the only thing that existed, just the feeling of being wrapped up in him and the sound of his voice, so much softer than his speaking tone. Louis draped himself over Harry’s back. He breathed in the musky smell at the back of his neck and reached around to touch him where he was burning, where he was leaking and red. </p><p>Harry’s eyes were closed when Louis lifted his head to look, his mouth still parted and dark eyebrows pulled together in a tender expression that Louis almost wanted to look away from, like it was too intimate to be witnessing him this way. But he was giving in to Louis completely, so easy and malleable underneath him, so eager to meet his thrusts and bare down on him at the right moments. </p><p>“So good.” Louis said, biting at his shoulder. </p><p>“Mhm.” Harry hummed. Louis started to go harder, faster, causing the room to fill with the sound of skin hitting skin and Harry’s knees to slide forward underneath him. “Oh, oh my god.” He whined, opening his eyes wide and looking back at Louis with his mouth in an o.  Louis felt like he was the most connected to his body he could possibly be and floating somewhere outside of it at once. It hit him that he was in Harry, a part of him for this moment and Harry would remember him later, would live his life as he normally did and think of Louis and this moment when they were connected. This inspired something in Louis, he wanted to make him remember, he wanted to haunt Harry in some way, have him carry him around, be a drifting thought while making dinner, a heated memory flashing in his mind before bed when they became strangers again. </p><p>“Lou-” </p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“Please, slow down, I’m close.” Harry choked out between Louis’ brutal thrusts. Louis let go of Harry’s cock and instead grabbed onto his hip, but didn’t let up in his pace. <em> Oh oh oh </em> Harry was chanting, eyes fluttering shut again. Louis grit his teeth against the heat that was coiled in his belly and grabbed a handful of Harry’s hair, twisting it in his hand and pulling sharply up so Harry’s throat made a pale arch. Harry gasped and his legs trembled where they were holding him up, losing purchase as they slid apart, as if Louis had triggered something in him that made him turn waitless and subdued. He continued to pound into Harry, slowing down slightly as he tried to adjust to Harry now practically being on his stomach. </p><p>His hand was still twisted in his hair and he pulled Harry’s head up and braced himself, his arm wrapping securely around Harry’s waist as he hoisted him up so they were both kneeling upright on the bed. Harry gasped, seemingly coming back to himself and scrambled a bit to adjust to the new position and support his own weight. His hand went back to hold onto Louis’ thigh, trying to gain support for a moment as Louis pulled his head to the side by his hair and sucked a bruise into the perfect curve of his neck. He pulled off to admire his work and saw his mark darkening, a wine stain on soft satin. He bit over it and then kissed at Harry’s ear when he moaned. </p><p>He thought of Harry looking at himself in the mirror the next day, running a long, ringed finger over the mottled red and purple. Would he curse under his breath at how high and obvious Louis had left it? Would he cover it up with a sweater or his long hair? Maybe he wouldn’t hide at all, maybe he would grin his sly grin and wait for someone to make a remark so he could tell them who had taken care of him so well. Maybe he would press down on the tender skin to remember this feeling. </p><p>One of Harry’s hands came up to grab as Louis’, which was supporting him across the waist. He looped his nimble fingers around Louis’ wrist, the metal of his rings warm against his skin. He guided his hand up, at first Louis thought he wanted him to touch his chest, his nipples, but he didn’t stop there. Arousal made Louis dizzy as Harry led his hand to his throat, a perfect, open curve. “Oh fuck.” He whispered, almost hysterical as he laughed into Harry’s hair and wrapped his fingers around Harry’s smooth throat. Harry gasped and held onto Louis’ arm limply, not resisting, just grounding himself. Louis slowed down his thrusts but not their intensity. He thumbed against Harry’s pulse point, felt his blood pounding there. </p><p>“Is this okay?” Harry asked, his breathy voice revealing some hesitance or maybe embarrassment. </p><p>Louis held him tighter against his body, grinding into him. “Yes, of course, baby boy. I’ve got you.” The pet name slipped out without him thinking but Harry seemed to enjoy it. He sighed contently and rubbed over Louis’ arm with light fingers in appreciation. Louis applied pressure to his hold, gently squeezing the sides of Harry’s neck. Harry whimpered and let his head loll in Louis’ grasp. Louis felt drunk on him, on the feeling of his body around him, the weight of him and the power he was giving up. Harry was so perfect, plush, rose-bud soft and so open, so willing. His skin, so nice to touch and easy to bruise and flush. He was at once demanding and giddy and submissive. Full of boyish mirth and confidence but melted sweetly underneath a firm touch, begging for a capable hand to grab ahold of him, take him by his lovely throat and wash away any other thing. There was just this; their skin and mouths and the hot place between them that was causing blooming heat to settle and spread low in Louis’ abdomen. He was close. </p><p>Louis slipped his hand from Harry’s curls and trailed it down his body until he was grabbing hold of him again. Harry yelped at the contact as Louis started pumping him in time with the thrust of his hips. He tightened his hold around Harry’s throat and leaned them forward, causing Harry to have to catch himself on his hands. With Louis’ increased speed he was soon sliding down to support himself on his elbows and Louis went with him, covering him with his hand still tightly around Harry’s throat. He knew he could still breathe, but he could feel him swallowing against his palm, his face growing red. “Pinch me if it’s too much.” Louis growled into his ear. Harry just whimpered, drooling slightly, his eyes wide and far away. </p><p>Louis’ pounding hips were becoming erratic. The feeling of Harry was all consuming, burning him up from the inside out. His wrist ached where he was stroking Harry, but he went faster, he could tell by his breathing and the increased whimpers leaving his throat that Harry was close. He sped up his hips slightly, feeling his own release drawing tight and near. His thumb dragged over the leaking slit of Harry’s head and suddenly he was shuddering, moaning loudly and wantonly. He spilled over Louis’ hand and onto his sheets, sinking down limply into the mattress while his body contracted, tightening around Louis and making him see stars. </p><p>Louis released the pressure around Harry’s throat and soothed the skin there with his thumb, which he then brought up to stroke at Harry’s bottom lip. Without hesitation Harry dipped his head down and took Louis’ thumb in his mouth, sucking on it lightly and humming while Louis continued to use him. </p><p>Shockwaves lit up Louis’ nervous system at how fucking good Harry was being. “So good baby, you did so good.” he babbled, so close he felt like his vision was whiting out. Harry hummed around his finger and with a few more uncoordinated thrusts, Louis was tipped over the edge. Waves of pleasure rolled over him, hot and sweet and seemingly never ending. </p><p>As he came down, contentment settled deep into his bones, making him heavy with it. He sighed and kissed Harry’s shoulder wetley before sitting up on his knees and pulling out of Harry carefully. Harry moaned at the loss and settled on his side, scooching away from the wet spot on the bed that he made. Louis wiped his hands with a prone band shirt that lay crumpled by his bed and tied off the condom to throw in the bin. He was about to walk over to the lamp to switch it off, but when he saw Harry’s warm form, curled up into one of the blankets on his bed that his mother sent him from his childhood home, messy hair pushed back and wrecked, ruddy face smiling up at him drowsily, he decided against it. He wanted to see him while he drifted off to sleep. </p><p>He slid into bed and under the duvet. Harry wiggled underneath after him, still wrapped in his thin blanket. Louis was settling in, about to beckon Harry closer so he could wrap an arm around him when the other man froze and stiffened before sitting up abruptly. Louis looked up at him in confusion. “What is it?” he asked, concerned. Harry was pinching his swollen bottom lip between two fingers, a worry line appearing between his eyebrows. </p><p>“I’m sorry.” He said. “I just started cuddling up, I don’t know if you… like, if you want me to leave?” The end of his sentence lilted up into a question. His sudden nervousness made Louis’ heart constrict and he reached out to pull him back down into the bed, this time sharing his pillow. </p><p>“Please stay.” he said, carding Harry’s hair back with his fingers, scratching lightly at his scalp. He leaned down and kissed the bridge of Harry’s nose. Harry closed his eyes for a moment, sleepy smile back as it should be. </p><p>“Okay.” He whispered, half opening his eyes, shiny slivers of jade green. They stared at each other for a while, breathing and floating on the warm edge of sleep. Louis’ body felt boneless and heavy. He thought back to earlier in the night, which now felt days away, when he walked into the club with Zayn, no intentions of pulling in his mind until Harry wandered onto the stage and possessed him with his velvet voice and gaze that drew him in like something sweet with sinful poison. </p><p>He laughed under his breath at himself and wondered to himself if he could have ever predicted the curve ball that was Harry in bed. He shook his head at himself. </p><p>“What is it?” Harry asked, blinking slowly and grinning despite not knowing what Louis was laughing about. </p><p>“Oh nothing. Just thinking ‘bout how stupid your band’s name is.”</p><p>Harry’s smile twitched and he huffed in mock offence. “Heyyy.” He said, kicking Louis lightly under the blankets. Louis just hummed and laced their fingers together. </p><p>He was succumbing to the warm embrace of sleep when Harry spoke, small, barely a whisper over the sound of their steady breathing. “Is it weird that I think I like you?” </p><p>Happiness beat its gentle wings against the inside of Louis’ chest. “Not weird.” He managed, turning his head to bury his nose at the top of Harry’s hairline where he smelt like cheap strawberry shampoo and sweat. “Like you too.”</p><p>Harry nuzzled in closer to him and the last thought that he had before drifting off to sleep was that he would have a lot to write about in his little black notebook. And maybe he’d found someone he could share it with. </p><p><br/>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading :) come say hi, my tumblr is @sogoldn</p></blockquote></div></div>
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